Cognitive Dissonance
by sandiwandi
Summary: Hermione has a cruuuuush. No biggie. Post-Hogwarts, D/Hr


**Title:** Cognitive Dissonance  
**Author/Artist:** sandiwandi  
**Rating:** R (M)  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters or personalities mentioned in the story. Other brilliant authors do.  
**Warnings:** Lots and lots o' swearin!

**Author/Artist notes:** Written for **silveris** at the **dmhgficexchange**'s Divine The Future with Draco and Herimione. To my on-the-spot beta, **SunnyJune**, THANK YOU. And to **Stacy**, without you this story would have been worse. Also, **Heleen - **for lending me Guy Russel. I didnt not know how tiring it was to individually block each line for the chat scenes. Holy- I screwed up the other part of the chat scene's time and date placing, but that's not detrimental to the fic. WHEW.

**Summary:** Hermione has a cruuuuush. No biggie.

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* * *

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I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean

I don't know how it got to this point

I always was the one with all the love

You came along, I'm hunting you down

- **Simple Kind of Life, No Doubt**

* * *

Cognitive dissonance.

___The uncomfortable tension that may result from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one's belief._

Like a man swearing off cigarettes then running to the back of a seedy alley to light one.

A wife getting offended by her husband's porn magazine but secretly taking 'tips' from it.

A Coke salesman drinking Pepsi.

Cognitive dissonance.

This was the best way to explain the situation she was in right now. And really, it wasn't as if this had never happened before, the cognitive dissonance part. Not THIS thing.

Oh man. Don't even get her started with THIS thing. THIS thing was something…something _horrible_. Why? She kept asking herself that. Why, Hermione? WHY, WHY, WHY?!

She doesn't know. Honestly has no clue.

_It just happened?_

That can't be it. Nothing _just_ happens. Especially with her, Hermione Granger. She was always precise. Sure. Bit by bit accurate. She always traced every process with so much care that you could say she had no life.

So what happened, you ask? Why the sudden craziness from the crazy woman? And what is she talking about?

She didn't want to remember. But she will. And she does. Because that is all that plays in her brain, day in and day out. It was like a cruel remote control. Every time the ending nears, it presses rewind to the very top. And she has to sit in every damn showing. With no popcorn. Sucks!

Anyway.

She had a crush on someone. An asshole.

_Well, that's not so baaaaad…_

What the hell are you talking about? It IS that bad.

_Enlighten us._

She had a crush on Draco Malfoy. THE Draco Malfoy.

Well?

_Well, shit._

**

* * *

**

JANUARY 2007

The party was in full swing.

Well, if you could call five people in a rundown apartment a party, then yeah. It was swinging like it had never swung before.

Chips, dips, booze and cigarettes. Add in '90s rock music and you got yourself Draco Malfoy's going-away party.

Where to begin. To say that everyone in this room has gotten over the past would be the most understated understatement of the year. They definitely had not woken up one day and said, "Hey, I think I might want to be chum-chums with the bastards that killed my family." Hell no. It took a lot of time. A whole lot of formal peace talks after the war. Numerous attempts at "bridging the gap" between the two parties. Nobody can say everything went down smoothly, because it rarely did. In the end, it got to the point that people were fighting more for the sake of fighting, and not for anything else. Only until Harry Potter, a.k.a. The Golden ManBoy, was accidentally spotted visiting a shamed Lucius Malfoy in his modest house did the general public wake-up to the reality that nothing they could do would bring back lives. And so…they got over it. It wasn't that they forgot about it, God forbid, no. Because they could never and _would never_ forget. It was just finally time to move on and hope to God that things were going to get better and not bite them in the ass.

Now, the hero and his pals were breaking bread with Lucius Malfoy's son.

And it felt okay.

"Everyone! I would like to propose a toast," Harry Potter declared. "Our buddy here, Drakey-poo, is going to be leaving us soon to get rich and laid. And I say it's about damn time, you sonuvabitch. Cheers!" He chugged down his can of beer and slammed it on the kitchen counter.

They all followed suit.

"So, Drakey, tell me why you're leaving again?" A red-faced Ron Weasley put his arm over Draco's shoulder and faced him with a toothy grin. He could handle alcohol, but it he wasn't very smooth doing it. Not smooth at all.

"Like we haven't talked about that before, Weasley."

_Drakey_ worked for a huge London-based drug company and was leaving for business. A new branch office was going to be constructed in the Philippines (damn the humidity!) and he was assigned to be the general manager for the over-all construction. Woop-dee-doo.

"It's just that," Ron sighed. "I'm going to miss yooooooou…" He attempted to kiss Draco's cheek and fell down on the couch in the process.

Draco shook his head and laughed, patting Ron on the back before refilling his glass with rum.

Harry was playing ___Dance-Dance-Revolution_ with Pansy Parkinson, and failing horribly. Pansy was laughing her ass off. Harry seemed to be enjoying it.

Hermione Granger looked uninterestingly at the 'odd couple', slouching on Ron's Lazy Boy with a drink in hand. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

Draco caught the reaction and headed over to Hermione.

"Enjoying the scene?"

Hermione looked up and saw Draco holding a full glass of rum, resting his elbows on the headrest of the chair. He reeked of alcohol.

"Ugh, you smell."

"Really, I don't get why you're still single. What is that, apple juice?"

"So?"

Draco threw his head back and laughed. What a girl, that Granger.

"I am so going to miss you, Hermy." He reached down and ruffled her hair.

"Don't call me that," she hissed. "And stop playing with my hair!" She grabbed Draco's hand and threw it off of her.

Draco furrowed his brows at her. "Why so bitchy?"

"Why so annoying?"

"I give up." He threw his hand up and walked away.

"You don't really have to be a bitch to him, you know?" Ron, who was still on the couch and in hearing distance, told –well, more like slurred- Hermione.

"That was a perfectly normal conversation we had, Ron. You act like it's never happened before."

It wasn't that Hermione ___hated_ Draco up to now. He just looked so…irritating, suddenly being one of the good guys and all. It was just too close for comfort with her.

Ron snorted. "Yeah, whatever."

Hermione went over and sat down beside him. "Scoot over. I'm having a headache watching Harry impress Pansy." She nodded towards them.

Ron placed his arm over Hermione's shoulder and squeezed her. "It's okay, Hermione."

Hermione faced him squarely in the face with a bewildered look. "What?" Ron was spouting the crazy.

"Well, it's okay to feel lonely. And sometimes –and this because you're you- bringing out your frustrations by being bitter is good, so…keep it up." He patted her arm.

The whole time Ron was talking, Hermione was amused and a bit annoyed. Was _he_ giving her advice on love? Really.

"I don't like you when you're drunk."

"Yeah, I love you too, Hermione," he teased. "It's a shame we never worked things out."

Hermione pouted and rested her head on Ron's shoulder. "I know. It would've been so easy. What do you think would it have been like?"

"Well," Ron pursed his mouth. "I think…at first it would be fucking amazing. Because we can't help it, you know?" He grinned lazily. It nearly made her want to get back together with him. "But also, in the end, it would ruin everything we've worked for. And we don't want that, do we?"

"No," Hermione shook her head. "We don't."

They sat comfortably in silence for a while. Also, because Ron was recollecting his thoughts before going for another round of drinks. When he felt fine enough to stand, he got up slowly and patted Hermione's head, gesturing to the bar. Hermione nodded faintly and was left alone with her stale apple juice.

It was time for a real drink.

* * *

(1:00 a.m. Officially a Saturday.)

"What is that -, Oasis?" Hermione hovered above Draco's back on the sound system. He was changing CDs.

"Now you're talking to me." Draco didn't even look back at her, continuing to look for songs.

"Blame Johnnie." She was still standing behind him, hands inside her front pockets jeans.

Draco chuckled and stood up to face her. He saw that she was already a bit red and her eyes were unfocused. Figures. Granger would only get close to him if she was drunk enough. He'd always known she was the least likely to accept him into their little posse. And he was cool with it. What was he going to do, shove himself down her throat with his "I've changed!" philosophy? There were just some things better left to heal on their own. And believe him, ripping Granger's band aid swiftly would be suicide on his part, and he would like to live a long and fruitful life, thank you very much.

"So what is it?" She peered over his shoulders, her eyes squinting dramatically, as if looking for miniature ants. Ha! Get it? Miniature … ants.

"Yeah, it's Oasis. I like them."

"I didn't know you were into…music." Muggle music. ___Angsty_ Muggle music. Typical.

"You don't know a lot of things about me, Granger."

She rolled her eyes. "Enough with the vagueness and the…" she paused for thought, waving her hand in the air. "The whole, 'I'm Malfoy and I'm mysterious' shit. Whatever, God!"

"I'm just saying!"

"Well stop it!"

Draco scratched his head and grimaced. She was such a ___bitch_. "Fine. Why don't I just leave you here to make love with your attitude." He started walking away but Hermione grabbed his arm.

"Wait, I'll go with you!"

"What? Why?"

Hermione shrugged and smiled sluggishly. "I like pissing you off."

Despite of himself, Draco laughed. "I'm just going for quick drag."

"Great! I know just the place." She took his hand and led the way. Draco doubted it would be anything new, as he was very familiar with Ron's place, but he let her drag him wherever. Sure enough, he recognized where they were going. They were in Ron's room.

Hermione opened the door and went straight to the window, pulling the bottom pane up and climbing out. She was sitting on the ledge of the fire exit.

Draco followed suit and sat carefully beside her, taking out his pack from his jacket and hitting its bottom softly against his palm. A thin, white stick slid out of the box and he took it between his teeth. He then flicked the lighter (the color was red), covering the flame with his free hand as he lit the cigarette.

Hermione looked at him closely, slightly obvious with the gawking.

"You want one?" He offered, taking a deep drag and blowing the smoke up.

"No, no thanks," she refused. "I don't smoke."

"Suit yourself."

They watched the empty street below, glistening with last night's rain and the street lights. From a distance they could hear an ambulance wailing and dogs barking.

"Oh what the hell. Give me one," Hermione finally cracked.

"Granger, don't be stupid. It doesn't suit you."

"Shut up, Malfoy. Give me the stick." She opened her hand demandingly.

Draco sighed, defeated and handed her a new cig. "You know how to do this?"

Hermione looked apprehensively at the cigarette and gulped. "You just suck it, right?" She giggled stupidly at the afterthought. Draco looked away and smiled himself.

"Yeah, and don't blow it out immediately. You have to let it stay here for a while," he pointed to his chest. "And then you slowly exhale it."

Hermione nodded dutifully, as if taking notes from McGonagall herself.

"When I light it, you take a long drag, okay? Don't stop until you see the tip burning steadily."

"Okay." She placed the stick between her lips and waited for Draco to light it. As soon as he did, she sucked in as much as she could, her eyes watering. She choked and took the cig out of her mouth immediately and coughed hard. Her throat and lungs burnt painfully.

Draco was calm and looked like he expected it from her. "I told you not to be stupid."

"Shut…up…" Hermione wheezed. The feeling was horrible, like drinking gas and setting it on fire. She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. "Ugh." This was so…adolescent of her.

Draco looked at her coolly and continued on with his huffing and puffing. Hermione rolled her eyes at him because why did she have to come off as the uncool one between them, huh?

"You want some more, Granger?" He grinned teasingly.

"I hope you die of heart failure, Malfoy."

"Harsh."

"You didn't tell me it was going to hurt!"

"Would you have listened?"

She opened her mouth then closed it. No, she wouldn't have.

Draco nodded, proving his point.

Hermione leaned against the rails, catching her breath and chuckling at the same time.

Draco was perplexed. "What's so funny?"

She looked at him, her head tilted to the side. "Who would've thought, huh?"

Draco knew what she meant. "Yeah. Who would've."

"You know, I hated you so much before. And sometimes, there're these bursts of rage just thinking of you being friends with _my_ friends. Because what the hell, why would they want you? You sucked. So freaking bad. And that's an understatement, by the way. I wanted you to fucking die." Verbal diarrhea. Uh-oooh.

Draco clenched his jaw and nodded curtly. "Glad you got that out, Granger." He rubbed the sides of his mouth and looked down.

"Aaw, don't be like that, Malfoy. I said I hated you _before_. So that means…" She poked him at his side.

He jumped and scowled. "Are you trying to be cute?"

"Is it working?" She grinned a little too drunkenly. Not drunk enough to forget what was happening, but drunk enough to pretend that she wasn't Hermione Granger.

"Flirting doesn't suit you."

It was her turn to scowl. First of all…

"I was not flirting. Get that into your thick head now." She hit him on the head with her palm.

"Ow!" He ducked. "Alright, alright! You weren't flirting. You were just-" Draco saw her hand aiming at him again. He stopped talking.

"Okaaaay…good. Let's start over, Malfoy. Clean slate." She offered her hand to him. Like nothing bad had ever happened between them.

Draco looked at her skeptically. "Do you really want to stop hating me? You seemed to like it. Are you sure?"

No.

She gritted her teeth. "Take my hand, Malfoy. I'm tired." She shoved it nearer.

Draco exhaled sharply and took her hand, shaking it.

"A clean slate, Granger."

It suddenly felt warmer outside.

* * *

When she finally got home, Hermione couldn't sleep.

**

* * *

**

**hgranger (sent 9:54 a.m., 01/11/07):** Rooon, where are you? Message me back, k? Bye.

* * *

Hermione closed the IM window and huffed impatiently. She was at work, doing nothing important as usual. Work for her meant being the secretary of a dentist.

After finally graduating from Hogwarts, Hermione was filled with dreams of change and reform. She thought she was tougher after what they all had went through, and the toppling down of Voldemort meant a new world, right? Wrong. Voldemort might have been the biggest, baddest villain of their age but he was only one man. What about all the others who shared his twisted mentality? What about those who were still alive and not ready for compromise? The problem's roots were not hooked on Voldemort. Rather, Voldemort was hooked on it. And so were men before him and after him.

She tried looking for jobs in the magical community, jobs that was in line with her ideals. Sure, she was THE Hermione Granger. But what was a name that meant jackshit to Pureblood racists? Pureblood racists (fuck them) who still owned the elite companies where Hermione only dreamed of getting into.

Change? What change? The system had not changed at all.

So here she was, after months of sulking in her apartment. Her dad had called her up to check on her and she went into a bawling fest.

_They will never want me, daddy!_

_Daddy, they hate me._

_I don't know what to do, dad . . ._

Mr. Granger took no time in finding his only daughter a job. It might not have been the beautiful Victorian dollhouse she had always wanted, but a cardboard cutout of that would do for now.

Aside from booking patients and filing records, she spent the long hours of eight to five alone, surfing the internet.

"Hermione, dear," a short, balding man in his early 60s, wearing a white coat, peeked out of his office. Hello, Mr. Dentist! "Would you be a sweetheart and make me a cup of coffee? I didn't quite get a good sleep last night. Gloria wouldn't stop yapping about those damn curtains!"

Hermione smiled and got up. "Yes of course, Mr. Whitter. Would you like it stronger this time?"

He did the old man nod, with the white teeth (No veneers! That would be mockery) showing and the eyes crinkling.

Mr. Whitter, the resident dentist and her boss, was kind old man who let her take breaks ever so often. The least she could do was alphabetically organize his files and make his coffee. She didn't mind at all.

She went to the counter where the coffee maker was and started to pour the black coffee into the cup. The warm aroma was enough to make her crave some mid-morning apple pie and specially brewed coffee from the café across the street.

Hermione knocked on Mr. Whitter's door. "Mr. Whitter, here's your coffee." He took it and smiled widely. "Thank you, sweetheart." God, he was addicted to coffee but his teeth were still so _white_.

"I was wondering, sir," Hermione started mildly. "If I could maybe go down for a bit and grab a bite to eat?" Sometimes, she felt a little guilty for taking advantage of the man.

"Oh, of course!" He pinched and patted Hermione's cheek. "Take your time. I don't think a lot of people are coming today, anyway. I'm just going to go feed my turtle."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Whitter. Want me to get anything for you?"

"No, no. Get on your way." He shooed her to the door.

"Alright, thanks again." Hermione grabbed her purse and went down. She could already taste those warm blueberry muffinsslices of apple pie. Screw dieting. She never was known for her body anyway.

* * *

She lined up behind a bleached blonde woman whose brown roots were showing. Hermione's hands itched to buy a dye for the woman and color that hideous hair herself.

The line finally moved and it was her turn to order. "Yes, I'd like one blueberry muffin aaaand… two slices of apple pie, please. Oh, and brewed coffee! Thank you." She shuffled through her purse and took out money to pay.

A voice came from behind her. "Come here often?"

She turned around and saw Malfoy. Her heart did a little jump. She caught it just in time and raised her eyebrow coolly.

"Was that supposed to be a pick-up line?"

"Uh, noooo. It was just a casual question. But hey," he punched her arm lightly. "If you really need a date, I'd be glad to help."

"Go kill yourself, Malfoy." She smiled dryly, then picked up her order and walked to an empty booth.

"You know," his voice followed after a while. "It wouldn't hurt for you to be a little nicer to people." He sat down in front of her, blowing on the rim of his coffee cup before sipping.

"I keep forgetting we're now 'friends'." She made air quotations then stabbed her apple pie fiercely with a fork.

Draco ignored her and kept sipping his coffee.

"So what're you doing here anyway?" She asked, swallowing her food and wiping her mouth neatly. She had never seen him in this part of the neighborhood before.

"I had to pick up some things before leaving for the Philippines. How about you?"

"I work across the street. See that window?" She pointed outside to the grey, paint's-peeling-like-hell building's slightly open window with baby blue blinds. "That's where I sit the whole day, doing nothing."

Draco gazed at it. "I thought you were a dentist?"

Hermione snorted. "I'm the secretary of the dentist. Long story."

"I got time."

"Little girl had dream. Dream included working in our world. Dream crushed. Little girl now surfs the net most of the day." She smiled sarcastically at him, and then looked away.

Draco leaned back and crossed his arms, his look serious. "You're too good for them anyway, Granger."

Hermione cleared her throat. "So! The Philippines. That's…interesting." She took a bite out of her muffin.

"Fuck, I don't have any clue what to do there."

"I heard the beaches are amazing there."

"I don't tan."

She giggled at the thought of Malfoy getting baked. "Well, I can't say you don't need one…"

"Ha ha. Really funny. You should be a comedian. You're so HILARIOUS." Draco glared. He was always one for dramatics.

"How long will you be staying?"

"The longest would be a year. It takes time to set up and my boss thinks it'll save money and time if I stay there full time until it's complete. And I'll probably set base in Bacolod. That's where the building's going to be built. Hopefully though, in six months' time, everything will be done and I'll be back here."

"Bacolod?"

"Uh, yeah. I don't know where it is. But we already have offices in Manila and Cebu. That's our next destination."

"Oh. And when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"Cool."

"Yeah."

They sat there for a few seconds quietly, both sipping their coffees and thinking of what to say next. Small talk was hard work.

"You want some?" Hermione offered what was left of her pie. "I love apple pie. My mom used to make one for me every time I went home for the holidays." She gave a nostalgic smile.

Draco stared at the plate strangely. He looked as if he didn't like eating out of other people's plates and vice versa.

Hermione frowned. "I don't have any diseases, Malfoy."

"That's not funny." He took her fork and gingerly took a bite.

"There. It's not bad, is it?" Hermione was thoroughly enjoying sharing her apple pie love with him.

"I'm not really into cinnamon. But yeah, I'll get used to it."

"Oh." She was disappointed. She wanted so much for him to like that piece of pie. But it's just pie, Hermione!

She looked at her watch. "Oh shit, I've gotta got to go back up. Don't want the old man to die with loneliness up there." She stood up and took one last sip of her coffee. "So…I'll see you when I see you?" She rocked back and forth on her feet.

"Yeah, definitely, Granger. Let's keep in touch." He also stood up to leave.

Hermione stepped forward and cautiously reached out an arm behind his back. Draco was surprised by the gesture and stepped back, making her stop midway.

"Oh, uh…" She smiled sheepishly. "Heh." She patted his arm forcefully. Blood was creeping up to her cheeks.

She was that close to embarrassing herself by attempting to hug him. Damn it!

Draco averted his eyes and cleared his throat. "C'mere." He opened his arms and she immediately stepped inside his embrace. He smelled like soap. The nice, generic kind. And he surprisingly felt muscle-y. Warm, too.

Draco patted Hermione's back and stepped away. "Take care of yourself."

She felt…bare. "You too. I take back what I said."

"About?"

"Killing yourself. Don't. Kill yourself, that is." God, make her shut her mouth!

"I'll try my best." He grinned lightly.

"Okay…I'm off." Hermione turned around quickly and walked without looking back.

When she got back to the office, she Googled Bacolod City.

**

* * *

**

**RedHot (sent 4:39 p.m., 1/11/07):** babe! sry, fell aslep n jst checkd mail nw. u stil here/? :)

******hgranger (sent 4:39 p.m., 1/11/07):** Hey Ron! Yeah, still here as usual. Got any plans for tonight?

**RedHot (sent 4:44 p.m., 1/11/07):** planing on havng drinks 2nyt with draco. wanna cum? haha

**hgranger (sent 4:44 p.m., 1/11/07):** Not funny. Nah, I don't think so. I might be intruding?

**RedHot (sent 4:44 p.m., 1/11/07):** wat no dont be silly! ill tell draco nw.

**hgranger (sent 4:44 p.m. 1/11/07):** Ron, no! That's embarrassing. I'll just go home after work.

**hgranger (sent 4:47 p.m., 1/11/07):** Ron?

**hgranger (sent 4:50 p.m. 1/11/07):** RON!

**

* * *

**

**dman (sent 4:48 p.m., 1/11/07):** granger?

**hgranger (sent 4:48 p.m., 1/11/07):** Who's this?

**dman (sent 4:50 p.m., 1/11/07): **malfoy

**dman (sent 4:51 p.m., 1/11/07):** me and weasley are going out for drinks later. potter too

**hgranger (sent 4:53 p.m., 1/11/07):** Cool. Have fun!

**dman (sent 4:54 p.m., 1/11/07) :** So you wanna come?

**hgranger (sent 4:54 p.m., 1/11/07):**It's okay. Ron doesn't have to force you to invite me.

**hgranger (sent 4:54 p.m., 1/11/07):** Anyway, I have to go. Bye!

**dman (sent 4:54 p.m., 1/11/07):** I want you to come

**hgranger (sent 4:57 p.m., 1/11/07):** Where is it?

**dman (sent 4:59 p.m., 1/11/07):** 3 mices, 8ish

**hgranger (4:59 p.m., 1/11/07):** Alright. See you then.

**dman (5:00 p.m., 1/11/07):> **great

___**"dman" is now offline. "dman" will receive your message when he is online.**_

**hgranger (5:00 p.m., 1/11/07):** Bye. Oh, you already signed out.

* * *

At exactly 5:00 p.m., Hermione bid adieu to her boss and finally went to buy a bottle of hair serum.

The Three Mices was a small, casual bar in the downtown area. The place had that old, antique-ish feel to it, but still managed to appeal to the younger masses. It was one of the places people went to when they wanted an evening full of talks and safe drunkenness.

Hermione stepped into the bar wearing fitted jeans and a printed black and white button-down silk shirt. She had changed outfits five times before settling with this look. Was it too dressy for the occasion? What kind of statement was she saying with that shirt? When did she start caring all of a sudden?

She stood on the spot for a moment, teetering on her toes before locating a flash of red hair and loud laughter in the far end. She sighed in relief because she had a secret fear of being stood up every time she walked into a place alone. Yeaaah.

Ron looked up. "Oh, Hermione, hey!" He beckoned for her to sit down on one of the fat cushions and have a drink.

Their table was strewn with fries, nachos, a few already half-empty bottles of beer, and cigarette ash.

"Hey guys," Hermione greeted. She sat beside Harry, across from Ron and Draco. She glanced across the table and saw Draco sneak a look at her. She smiled inwardly without really knowing why. That look he gave her also meant she was going to have to spend the night sneaking looks at him.

She patted her hair and cleared her throat. Now was not the time to dwell in her thoughts, no matter how deep and important they might seem.

Right.

"You look different," Harry quipped. "Is it…did you lose weight?"

Before Hermione could react, Ron answered. "Hermione, don't tell me you're on one of those eggplant diets!" He groaned. "Ugh, that's just gross. Steamed eggplants? I mean, come on!" He looked at Draco intensely, trying to prove his point.

"It's my hair," she said, ignoring Ron. All of sudden conscious of the way she looked. Damn it, she should've just put it up.

"Oh," Ron flatly replied.

"No wooonder…" Harry kept on pondering. He was still staring at her like she was a lab specimen doing unexplainable but magnificent things.

"Harry, since when did you start showing interest in the way I looked anyway?"

"Since you started doing _that_ to your hair. When did you?"

Hermione looked dirtily at Harry. "Just now," she mumbled.

Men.

"You look good," Draco addressed Hermione offhandedly. Ron gave him a weird look before shrugging and reaching for the fries.

Hermione nodded appreciatively in response. All was not in vain!

"Soo… 'd man'?" She inquired. Draco didn't quite strike her as the 'd man' type of guy, let alone instant messaging.

"Don't look at me, Granger. Carrot top here made that for me."

Ron opened his mouth full of fries in protest. "What? I thought you said you liked it, asshole!"

"Just to shut you up, yes!" Draco retorted. He gestured for fries but Ron took it away. "Hey! No fair!"

"Whatever. That'll be the last time I do something for you." Ron placed the fries on the farthest corner from Draco and ate them like they were going extinct tomorrow.

"You better apologize, man. You know how he gets," Harry told Draco amusingly.

Hermione looked at them and felt jealous. How could they get along so effing well? And she was just there, stuck as the friend they had to get along with because well, they had been friends for so long. She was the proverbial third wheel to their new trio! Fuck.

Hermione called the waiter over to order her food.

"Hello, my name is Guy, and I'll be serving you for tonight." A balding, thirty-something man came up to her with a pencil and pad paper, smiling widely.

"Hi, Guy! I've said this quite a lot now but I just can't get enough of The Three Mices!" Hermione gushed.

"Well, thanks for supporting it, Hermione. Now what can I get you?"

Guy Russel, or Guy for short, was the owner of The Three Mices. He coined it after a play he had written which garnered great raves and critical acclaim. He decided to go for an early retirement with his teaching and own a bar. That way he could write in the morning and make money at night the clean way. He and Hermione became friends when she noticed the books she admired spotted along the bar's many tables.

Hermione scanned the menu, biting her lips. "Hmmm…I'll try the passion fish with hummus and steamed rice." She snapped the menu close and promptly gave it to Guy.

Ron grimaced. "Hummus? That's like, the unsexiest dip to ever exist, Hermione. Why not try Wasabi or something?"

"I don't want to, Ron," Hermione said, glaring at him. "That'll be all, Guy."

"Excellent. Drinks?"

"Purified water."

"Perfect. I'll be right back with your order." Guy gave a mock bow and left their table.

First of all, hummus was NOT unsexy. It was subtle and an acquired taste. What was Ron talking about? He clearly had no appreciation for the finer things in life. And second of all…screw Ron.

"Aaw, Hermione. I was just kidding," Ron implored. "You're not unsexy. Right, Draco?" He smacked Draco's arm swiftly to make him respond.

Draco looked at Ron, furrowing his brows and saying "Hey! No touching the extremely white guy" with his eyes. But then he sighed and told Hermione that no, she was not unsexy.

Hermione caught his sigh and scrunched up her inward nose. Who was he to sigh from her unsexiness, huh? HUH?

She was seriously going to need to see a shrink soon.

"Gee thanks, Ron. Malfoy. It just really . . . boosts my self confidence." She placed a hand on her heart. "Honestly, I feel like I can face the world with a courageous smile now." She scowled and rolled her eyes at them.

She turned to Harry, the only person she did not want to pummel with her very heavy encyclopedia set at that moment. She felt that at least he was almost always on her side of things.

"Where's Pansy?" she asked Harry. What a weird turn of events, Pansy and Draco in the same circle as theirs. But as bitchy and crass as Pansy could be, Hermione still felt a certain affinity to her, as a woman who was given a hard bargain and sucked it up to move on. Plus, Harry was happy with her, and that meant everything.

"Some dinner with her mother," Harry replied, shuddering.

Hermione gave him a questioning look. Why the shuddering, H.P.?

"What? I'm…not really bff's with her mother."

"Cheers to that," Draco added, raising his glass.

Hermione moved her attention to Draco. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that she is Pansy's _mother_. She spawned Pansy. Now think what kind of creature could giv-"

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking about." Harry interrupted. "But I agree."

Draco gave him a knowing look while sipping his drink. Hermione thought that Draco and Pansy would never have made it as a couple, anyway. But that was just her, so…

"Speaking of girls," Ron joined. "What's your type, Malfoy? I introduce you to women all the time but you've yet to take any of them out on a date. What the hell, man?"

Hermione's ears perked up. She made a show to look uninterested by scoffing and looking away.

"Just different tastes, Weasley. Nothing personal," Draco shrugged.

"Look, we've been friends for a fairly long time. You can tell me! Like with Yvonne. Man, she was hot." Ron was not letting this topic go.

"I don't know…"

"Don't be a pussy. Tell us."

"She just wasn't what I was looking for, okay?"

"P-U-S-S-Y. C'mon, Harry. Join me. P-U-S-S-Y!" Ron continued until finally, Draco cracked.

"Fine! I didn't like her teeth, okay? Now shut the fuck up.!" Draco raised his hands in surrender. He gave Hermione a quick glance.

Ron guffawed and Harry shook his head.

Hermione on the other hand, glided her tongue on her teeth faintly.

"You're so fucking superficial, Malfoy," she told him.

"What?"

"You heard me." She was so annoyed by his reason of not dating that Yvonne, even if she was teeth-challenged, according to Malfoy.

"Hey, I was only telling the truth. Now you're going to slit my throat for it?"

"Hermione," Ron cut in. "That's just how it is. Haven't you ever met someone you just didn't find attractive? Say he had the worst case of halitosis. Would you still give him a chance then? Wouldn't that be hypocritical of you?"

Hermione's eyes grew wide.

Harry cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly. "Ron…"

If Hermione was a blowfish, she'd beat every other with the way she swelled. "Oh shut up, Ron. If you heard what women share about men who think they're God's gift to women, you'd be crying in your sleep. All of you!" She pointed at the three of them.

There was silence. And then…

"Oh hey, hummus! Yum!" Ron cried, voice filled with relief. Guy was maneuvering his way toward them to bring Hermione's dinner.

Hermione exhaled deeply and thanked Guy. She decided to drop the issue (for now) and devoured her passion fish and rice with hummus dip. All the aggravation they gave her made her very hungry.

"Here's a myth buster, Hermione –", Ron started again.

"I didn't ask," she replied after swallowing.

"I know. I'm telling."

"Whatever. No one's stopping you."

Ron ignored her jibe and went on. "We may like the chase, but that doesn't mean we're going to run after them forever. Once we know they know? It's like over, man." He made scissor hands and cut the air.

"Yeah well, I'm not a runner. And that's really juvenile. I mean, why go chase women when you can just find one you're really interested in and make it work? What's the point of whoring yourself out when you can be happy with that one person?" WHY.Why did you always have to pick the other one?

Ron gave a 'psh' look, while Harry and Draco nodded thoughtfully – even though Hermione knew they were doing that to pacify her.

"Whatever. It's like talking to a brick with you, Ron. At least I can smash a brick," she muttered.

"Well, this is shaping up to be a fun night," Draco said wryly. He took his red lighter from the table and lit up, stretching his legs and blowing smoke in the air.

In all honesty, Hermione didn't mean to be a bitch this particular night. What she planned was a fun, casual evening with the two boys (yes, boys!) she loved and one other who she was still trying to figure out.

She decided to shut up for now and let the boys do the talking. Besides, the hummus needed the attention more.

At around 11 p.m., after several hours and drinks, she was starting to loosen up. Actually, she was loosening up a lot. Her hair serum broke and now she looked like a freaking bush with tits.

Harry had decided to leave early to pick Pansy up from her mother's. Now it was just her, Ron and Draco. Let the ganging-up begin, ladies and gentlemen.

"Granger, your hair…it's really big," Draco said, sounding in awe.

Ron looked at him with warning, mouthing 'Not the hair, not the hair'.

"Malfoy, don't get me started on yours . . . or lack thereof."

Ron snorted and laughed so hard, he leaned against Draco for support. Hermione felt a little proud that he thought she was funny. Because Ron was the funny guy in their group!

Draco, who was already in his ninth beer, gave her a cheeky wink and made shooting motions with his hand. Hermione's heart did a little skip at that. What was wrong with her? If this thing kept going on, soon she'd find every thing attractive, including her plants.

"Ron," she giggled. "I think we should take him home already. He's starting to resemble a really drunk tomato."

"Hey, I heard that. Why don't you say it to my face!" Draco, who was sitting beside Ron, moved across and sat beside Hermione. She suddenly sat up straight, causing the alcohol to mix up her system.

"Woah," she slurred. She balanced herself by clutching at Draco's shoulder.

He leaned closer. "What's wrong?"

"Uh…" she could feel his breath on her ear. She turned to face him and saw that his pupils were already dilated. Her eyes moved to his lips which were wet. "Nothing," she gulped. She could feel the heat radiate through his skin and onto her. This was kind of nic- baaaad.

Draco grinned and clapped her back. "Great!" He leaned back and bobbed his head to the music, looking oblivious to it all.

"Great," Hermione replied weakly. She turned to Ron and told him again that they should all go home because Draco's flight was tomorrow, and he couldn't afford being sloshed on the whole trip.

Ron, who was looking at her a bit strangely before she spoke to him, snapped out of his reverie and agreed. Both of them helped Malfoy walk in the best way possible. He insisted he could walk fine, but once he stood up and fell back down, they begged to differ.

"What? We're going home NOW? But the fun's just getting started. C'mooon, I want to dance with you," Draco pleaded, grabbing Hermione's hand and clasping it with his own and guiding her back inside.

"No, Malfoy. Stand up straight! You have a flight tomorrow, okay?" She slapped his face to make him pay attention. It was rather hard because she was quite buzzed herself. Miraculously, Ron was the one to sort the two of them out.

"Let's go home, bud." He placed his arm around Draco's shoulders and maneuvered him outside to wait for a taxi cab. The three of them stood outside the bar, Malfoy in the middle, playing with the cracks on the pavement with his feet.

"Oh my god, what's wrong with him?" Hermione looked at Malfoy and saw him for the first genuine time as…as a real person. Sure they decided to start fresh, but that was more for Hermione's closure. Right now though, she just saw a guy who wanted to be normal. Like the rest of them. How they all wanted to be normal.

Finally a cab pulled over. They dropped Ron off first because his place was the nearest.

"You going to be okay with him?" Ron said from outside the car, his head inside the open window.

Hermione glanced at Draco unsurely. "Yeah, I can manage. He's practically out of it anyway."

Ron made sure she was okay before hitting the trunk of the cab, signaling them to go.

Hermione gave the directions to Draco's place and they drove away.

She leaned her head against the window, the streetlights making patterns on her face. This had been a rather enlightening night, so to speak. But she wasn't quite ready to decipher it yet. She needed to think straight, not rush to any conclusion.

Draco stirred and moved closer to her space, making her breath hitch.

"Granger, how you doin'?" He smiled at her lazily.

"Pretty fine, Malfoy. You?"

"I'm feeling glorious, tonight. In fact," he leaned over to the driver and tapped his shoulder. "Driver, pull over please."

Hermione looked at him alarmingly. "What? No! Don't listen to him, he's inebriated."

"Like hell I am. I'll pay you double if you pull over now."

The driver looked at them on the rear-view mirror, not sure who to follow.

Hermione looked at Draco, then at the driver. "Triple if you take us to his place. Now!"

"Sorry, man. The lady wins." The driver sped up and drove along.

"You suck, Granger," Draco pouted.

"I may suck now, Malfoy, but you'll be thanking me when you're on that plane tomorrow heading God knows where."

"Bacolod."

"I know!"

"Okaaaay…"

They sat in silence, the vehicle moving smoothly.

Hermione chewed on her lips, contemplating whether to start talking to Draco again and risk getting annoyed, or keep quiet and regret not ever asking him. She chose the former.

"Malfoy?"

"Hmm."

"Why did you…why did you choose to you know…"

"Spit it out, Granger. Or do I actually have to pull it out of your mouth? I have my methods, you know."

"I'm sure," she said dryly. "What I'm trying to say is, why did you decide to live and work _here_?"

"Wha?"

She exhaled frustratingly. She couldn't talk about their world so publicly with an unknown taxi driver driving them home.

"You know what I mean…think!"

She was trying to convince a drunken man to think. Nice.

Draco thought long and hard. And then he snapped his fingers. "Oh! Ohoho…you mean the M word. Right," he winked at Hermione rather obviously.

Hermione smacked her forehead with her palm. She should just give up.

He let his voice go down a notch. "Well, it's rather simple. To me, anyway. You know my history, Granger. I'm not exactly the town's sweetheart. And even before everything happened, I knew where I stood. And the way people looked at me," he said, his emotions more clear than it had ever been when he was sober. "Like I was never going to be anything good enough. That all I ever would be was a fucking failure. I was never going to be someone because of me. It always was because of my father or our status. It ate me up inside. And then I saw you." He looked at her directly.

"Me?"

"Yeah. You came. And you just ruined it for me. And it wasn't because you were different, no. That was just a bonus. You ruined it for me because…I don't know. I can't explain it. Like you were too good for everyone else. You got the highest grades, had every teacher kissing your ass. God, I couldn't stand you."

Hermione looked outside the window again, letting his words sink in. It was different when he was the one who actually said it. She could theorize all she wanted on why he felt that way about her before, but hearing it from his own mouth still stung.

She was still the bushy haired girl on the Hogwarts Express with no friends.

"Oh, you have no idea what it was like, Malfoy. No idea at all."

"I know. And believe me, if I could turn back time…"

"No, don't. What's done is done. Nothing we could say would ever give anything justice, so just…don't say anything like that, okay?"

Draco pursed his lips. "Anyway, to answer your question. I decided to stay here because it feels good that no one knows you here. Like, if someone likes or hates you, it's because of YOU, you know? No other reason than that. And Granger," he continued. "I like the way they look at me." He nodded and looked away.

The light atmosphere in the car was suddenly filled with six years worth of suppression.

"Could you turn up the air conditioning, please?" Hermione requested to the driver. She suddenly felt hot.

"If I turn this thing any colder, we're going to hit something. It's going to fog."

She ignored him and opened her side window instead. The cold breeze whipped through her hair and cooled her face. She had this fantasy of driving with the top down, her hair flailing madly with the wind, leaving everything behind. But of course, her rational self would never allow it. Maybe when pigs flew, yes?

"How about you?" Draco suddenly voiced. "What made you stay here?"

"I already told you about that in the café, remember?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't actually what one would call thorough, was it? You can tell me, Granger." Draco gazed at her long and hard.

Hermione sighed. "It's…complicated." Complicated because she put her whole life into something that didn't want her back, no matter how hard she pushed herself in. She returned his look and both of them did not let go.

"We're almost there," the driver announced. It startled the both of them back to reality.

They pulled over and Draco got out, staggering a bit. He gave Hermione money for his share of the ride. "Take care, Granger."

"You too, Malfoy. It's been fun, even if we've known each other for a night or two," she joked. "Have fun in Bacolod. I hear the food's absolutely great there."

"How'd you know?"

"I've got…friends." Named Google and Yahoo!

"Well, come and visit me some time."

She laughed. "Riiight."

"Let's keep in touch, 'h granger'." He smiled.

"Looking forward to it, 'd man'."

"Listen, are you going to talk the whole night or do I actually have to drive you home, lady?" The driver was sounding very aggravated.

Hermione made an 'oops!' face at Draco. "I've got to-"

Draco went back in and planted a soft kiss near her mouth.

"-go."

Draco gulped and nodded, his eyes fixed onto hers. "Yeah, me too." He pulled back and closed the door.

Hermione nearly keeled over.

"Okay," she whispered. Okay. All she could hear now was the blood pumping overdrive in her ears.

As the car pulled away, she looked over to him, struggling to fit the key into the door knob. She shook her head. "No, Hermione."

"You talkin' to me?" The driver replied.

Hermione grimaced. "Just keep driving, will you?"

* * *

Hermione rushed back to her apartment and slammed the door.

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't! It went against everything she had told herself.

It wasn't making any sense. No, no, no! He was off-limits! She never planned this.

She took a deep breath to calm down. Okay, okay. So maybe it's just the novelty of the thing, right? It didn't actually mean anything, RIGHT? She had a feeling she was wrong.

Grabbing a glass, Hermione filled it with water and gulped it down. She went over to her couch and sat perfectly still, clutching her hands together.

Assess the situation. What made her feel like she was stepping on private property? That she was breaking a certain rule? So what if she liked-

She did not dare finish that train of thought.

So what was everything about? The way she stiffened when he was near. The way her heart did the fucking River Dance whenever he spoke to her or did something to her. The way he smelled like soap. Or that he didn't like apple pie (which extremely disappointed her).

And it made her heart pang in a way that it had never panged before when he said goodbye tonight, because she knew it'd be the last time she'd see him for a loooong time.

Was she obsessed with him or something? Did she need therapy?

This was not good. This was NEVER going to be good.

_What's wrong with admitting it, Hermione?_

Everything, is what!

She stood up and paced the room. She couldn't sleep now. Just thinking about…it made her painfully awake. Painfully aware of what was going on in her obviously injured brain.

This was not logical.

_So?_

Oh, shut up!

_Just admit it. You like Draco Malfoy._

No!

_Yes!_

No!

_Yes!_

No!

_No?_

…Yes.

Hermione Granger had a big, fat, juvenile crush on Draco Malfoy.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER 2007**

Hermione had tried everything to distract herself from her…situation. She had tried knitting, baking, archery (she sucked), even boxing. Suffice it to say, they did little help.

Mainly because Hermione and Draco kept in touch via the amazing internet. More specifically, Instant Messaging. The reason Hermione was into it was because she had almost nothing to do everyday. Her boss was a sweet old man who didn't like to burden Hermione with loads of work, so she was always stuck in front of her desk facing her computer screen. As for Draco – Ron got him an account so that he could meet women online, hence the name. But Draco never used it for that purpose. Instead, he had found out that through Instant Messaging, he could talk to people without actually having to look at their faces. It was a win-win situation.

Ron and Harry had noticed something about her too. Whenever they talked about Draco, she was always the first one with answers. Ron had once joked that they had an affair together.

Ha ha.

During the course of those eight months, they have talked almost everyday. Their time zones were inversely proportional, which was perfect in their case. Hermione did nothing all day and Draco got to talk to her at his night time.

What they talked about wasn't really of great importance or relevance. Just the little things. Like how Hermione would always cut the corners of her sandwich in perfect symmetry. Or how Draco would sometimes write his name with his foot on the air.

Yeah, just the little things. Nothing much.

Hermione sat in front of her desk in the middle of the morning doing absolutely nothing. There was a patient inside Mr. Whitter's room, but she had already taken care of it so she was free for the time being.

She opened her computer and logged in. It was always around this time that he would log in, too.

* * *

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:43 a.m.):** granger

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:43 a.m.):** Hi!

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:43 a.m.):** doing nothing again?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:43 a.m.):** You know me so well.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:44 a.m.):** naturally. got news for me today?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:44 a.m.):** Nothing you don't already know.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:44 a.m.):** hows my man, Whitterman?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:44 a.m.):** Still old. How was your day?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:45 a.m.):** the building's exterior structure's done, thank god. now it's time for the finalization

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:45 a.m.):** Does that mean you'll be home soon?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:45 a.m.):** hope so. you gotta visit bacolod some time, granger

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:46 a.m.):** It's that good?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:46 a.m.):** well not really. but the people are nice. kinda smiling all the time though. food is GREAT

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:46 a.m.):** That's why they're called The City of Smiles, Malfoy

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:46 a.m.):** how'd you know that

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:46 a.m.):** ?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:47 a.m.):** Nothing. I like geography.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:48 a.m.):** sure

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:48 a.m.):** Anyway!

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:48 a.m.):** yeah

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:48 a.m.):** Got any new girl there?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:48 a.m.):** since ive gotten here that's what you always ask about. jealous?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:50 a.m.):** That's absurd! I was merely asking, Malfoy! Starting conversation.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:50 a.m.):** okay2 i believe you

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:50 a.m.):** Wipe that smirk off your face.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:51 a.m.):** you know me so well.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:51 a.m.):** Sucks for me.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:52 a.m.):** i know you love it granger

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:52 a.m.):** admit it

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:53 a.m.):** You're funny.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:54 a.m.):** you'll come around soon ;)

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:54 a.m.):** I hate that stupid smiley1

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:54 a.m.):** !

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:56 a.m.):** bad day?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:56 a.m.): **No. So let's talk more about you. You like that, don't you?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:56 a.m.):** ouch.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:56 a.m.):** You didn't answer my question.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:58 a.m.):** about?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:58 a.m.):** Girls.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 10:59 a.m.):** what's there to tell

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 10:59 a.m.):** You tell me.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:00 a.m.):** look, if i have someone youl be the first to know

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:00 a.m.):** Glad to hear.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:03 a.m.):** So there isn't any?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:04 a.m.):** well

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:04 a.m.):** just occasionally i see this girl

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:04 a.m.):** her name's nikki. happy now?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:07 a.m.):** That's great!

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:07 a.m.):** I knew it!

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:07 a.m.):** its nothing granger

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:08 a.m.):** Riiight. Let's pretend for one moment I believe you.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:08 a.m.):** ha ha

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:09 a.m.):** fine dont believe me

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:09 a.m.):** whatever

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:11 a.m.):** What's that supposed to mean?

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:19 a.m.):** whats up?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:19 a.m.):** You missed my birthday.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:21 a.m.):** when was it?

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:21 a.m.):** Sept 19

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:21 a.m.):** oh. sorry

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:21 a.m.):** happy birthday

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:22 a.m.):** No problem. Thanks.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:22 a.m.):** Hey I've got to go.

**hgranger (sent 09/21/07, at 11:22 a.m.):** I'll see you around, Malfoy.

**dman (sent 09/21/07, at 11:24 a.m.):** yeah take care

___**"hgranger" is now offline. "hgranger" will receive your message when she is online.**_

* * *

WHO. THE _FUCK_. WAS NIKKI.

She had to get out of their conversation. How…did Draco have someone now? And even if he said it was nothing, she knew every 'nothing' always led to something!

She hated this. Why did she have to like HIM of all people? Why couldn't it be…Guy Russel or whoever? Her stomach turned rapidly at the thought of Draco being with someone. That someone who was tall, perfectly proportioned and limber. Her stomach turned at the thought of Draco being with someone and not herwho was not named Hermione Granger..

This wasn't good because he was far away and she was feeling this. Hermione was supposed to get over this quickly. It was a mindless crush! How did it get out of hand? How is it that she had a hard time breathing now? And what was that pain in her chest?

Hermione wanted to take the computer off its hook and smash it outside until it was nothing more than pieces of microchips. Then she would take the microchips and smash them until they were nothing.

She pushed herself back from her desk and took deep breaths. "_Fuck_," she swore. She hated not understanding herself. Because if there was something she knew she could always control, it was herself. And really, it wasn't that she didn't know what was happening. It was just that she refused to acknowledge it.

She opened the blinds haphazardly, bending some of it along the way. She looked outside, hoping to calm herself. It was a windy day outside. The leaves were starting to turn into that shade of orange Hermione always loved. Itching for a quick relief, she wrote a note in big handwriting for her boss telling him she was out for lunch and would be right back.

* * *

She went down and sat on the bench across from her window. She just wanted NOT to feel. The cold breeze was helping a bit, numbing her face. It was like she was in the eye of the storm, where suddenly she was eerily calm. But she knew that just around the corner would be a whirling, angry something. Everything was in slow motion, even her reactions. If she saw the most horrendous car crash right now, she would just shrug.

Looking around, Hermione gazed at the people strolling and concentrated all her energy into calculating how many were men, how many were women, and what most of them were carrying. At least she could trust her brain on this.

She was in the middle of counting when her cell phone rang. It was probably Mr. WhitmanWhitter, asking to bring him coffee.

She took it out of her pocket and didn't recognize the number. It was foreign.

"Hello?" She answered with uncertainty.

"Granger?"

"Who…who is this?" She place one hand on her other ear to hear better. The person on the other end of the line kept getting cut off.

"It's Malfoy."

"WHO?"

"MALFOY."

"Wha- Why are you calling? Wait, you're breaking up!" she yelled.

"What?"

"I said you're breaking up!"

People were looking at her strangely because she was yelling rather unceremoniously.

"Sorry! Yeah, I'm looking for…here we are. Can you hear me now?"

Hermione removed the phone from her ear and took a moment to close her eyes and get in the zone. When she was done, she cleared her throat. "Yeah."

"Soo…how's it going, Granger?" He sounded nervous.

"It's going great. Why are you calling?"

"Nothing. Listen…"

"Yeah?" Hermione was biting her lip, waiting for him to tell her that yes, Nikki and Draco we're officially a couple and would get married at the soonest possible time. Oh, she was so good to herself.

"Happy birthday."

"WHAT?"

He chuckled breathily, sending static through the lines. "I said, happy birthday."

Hermione suppressed a scream. "Oh, thanks. You didn't have to do that," she said coolly.

"Yeah well. I have lots of free minutes on this phone so…no big deal."

Her face fell. Was he really calling only because he was bored?

"That's great, Malfoy. Maybe you should call Nikki with those free minutes." She couldn't help but sound bitter. Hermione hoped the distance from London to the Philippines was enough to cover her voice.

"Let's not talk about her, okay? I told you already. Why do you always have to bring it up?" She could hear him sigh.

"I don't know, maybe because I want to?" What kind of reason was that!

"Right. Okay…"

They spent a few seconds in silence. Hermione listened to him breathe.

"I forgot how annoying your voice sounded, Malfoy."

He took a deep breath. "I miss you too, Hermione."

She nearly dropped her phone.

"So anyway, happy birthday again. I'll see you online?"

Hermione had a hard time speaking. "Y-yeah! Definitely."

"Okay, good. Bye." There was a click on the line and he was gone.

She slowly put the phone back in her pocket then leaned her elbows against her knees, her hands clasping together. She wasn't sure if Draco was being serious with the whole missing her business. She definitely did not want to get her hopes up. The worst thing to happen right was to actually believe in something that was nothing. What was she going to do?

Nothing. There was absolutely nothing to do but wait it out.

She missed him more.

"Well, Hermione," she told herself. "You're screwed."

* * *

**NOVEMBER 2007**

_Bacolod City_

It was a hot Saturday night. The humidity was off the charts and it looked like it was going to rain soon. Rush hour didn't help, because now traffic was lodged. Cars and trucks were honking, the smoke coming out of their exhaust pipes and adding to the heat and discomfort of the night.

Draco was hunched over the side of his bed, reading something. The noise from outside was distracting him from what he should be doing. He put down the papers, stood up and looked out of his hotel room's window.

The Bacolod City life was far from his. The people looked as if problems did not shake them up one bit, that they could still go on laughing even if they're lives were crap. His stay had shown him a different facet of life. That yes, he could still go on. Yes, he could start over. And yes, he could get fat eating the whole day. His favorite part of the city was hands down- the food. There was a little pastry shop just across his hotel and he went there every day to stuff himself with Tiramisu.

Speaking of Tiramisu…he wanted one. As it was hot as hell outside -not the normal hot he experienced while in London- he opted to wear his "I Love Bacolod" shirt, a gift given by the local welcoming committee. He had worn it countless times already, receiving approval from the locals.

He reached for his hotel keys and wallet when his cell phone rang.

He stopped his steps and let it ring for a while, contemplating whether to answer it and risk being cooped up in his room doing work again, or ignore it .

It stopped ringing after a while. Well, that took care of itself.

It rang again, and this time, it felt more urgent. He sighed exasperatedly and looked at the number. He scrunched his forehead, not recognizing who was calling.

"Malfoy," he answered.

"Uhm, hi?" A female voice was on the other end of the line.

"Granger?"

"Oh, you guessed! Hi!" She sounded flustered and nervous. Draco wondered why she was calling.

"What's up? Why are you calling?" Because this girl never called him. She never even started any conversation with him since September.

"Oh, nothing. Just…wanted to know how you were doing."

"Right," he said skeptically.

"How are you?" She sounded like she was climbing a set of stairs and was getting tired.

This was getting stranger by the second. "Granger, what's wrong? Why are you calling? How's everything back there?"

She laughed lightly on the other end. He liked her laugh, it was always real and unsuppressed. "You are so paranoid. Everything's fine here. Ron and Harry said 'hi'. Pansy said you should return her exercise DVD now."

"Tell her I never took it!" Just because he was reading the back of the disc didn't mean he wanted it, alright?

"Uhm, what are you doing right now?" He could imagine her biting her lip with that tone of voice.

"I was just about to go get-" He paused. "Granger, hold on a sec, someone's at the door. This better not be my boss getting on my-" he wrenched open the door. "What the-"

* * *

Hermione's heart was beating so fast she was afraid it might burst straight out from her chest and shoot her. She just climbed five sets of stairs without pausing, making her lightheaded and breathless.

What was she thinking? Was she thinking at all?

She had asked herself that question countless times now. The fact that she climbed the stairs when there was a ready elevator proved she wasn't very bright today.

Her hair was clingingclung to her face, and she felt smelly and hot. Not ooh-baby hot, but the wet-armpits-and-sticky face kind of hot. But no, she didn't care about that. She was here now. The task at hand was the most important. And besides, she didn't actually have a choice.

Standing outside a hallway, she pushed through with her resolve and marched onward, her palms sweaty and her breathing still jagged. The carpeted floor muffed her steps - her feet felt like lead.

She stopped in front of a chocolate-colored wooden door. Now or never.

She cleared her throat and knocked. A muffled voice could be heard from inside the room. It made her want to pee very badly.

The door opened in slow motion for her. There was a second before the person behind it could see her. She could just run now and pretend it was all a prank. That was a tempting thought.

"What the-"

Her heart stopped. It literally stopped.

Draco Malfoy stood on the open doorway wearing an "I Love Bacolod" shirt, his whole face registering shock.

She smiled awkwardly. There was nothing else to do. And even if there was, she wouldn't believe it.

___Cognitive dissonance._

"Hi."

_**FIN**_

* * *

_If we met tomorrow for the very first time_

_Would it start all over again?_

_Would I try to make you mine?_

**_- Simple Kind of Life, No Doubt_**

**A/N: **Yeah, I do plan to write a sequel to this. SOON. Dun dun dun dun.


End file.
